Today, I tried to rush out the door.
I tossed on some clean clothes, pinned back my hair, and swiped a brushful of coral powder across my cheeks to give the illusion that I was awake-r than I felt.
The babysitter was due to arrive any moment, the kids had fresh diapers, were out of PJ’s and fully clothed.
I was ready for my day.
But then, the little one started to cry and needed to be held. The dog had to go out. The bigger one’s socks were hurting her feet. I couldn’t find my keys.
And of course, once the babysitter arrived, and I tried to run out the door, my husband’s car that is ALWAYS parked on the street was behind mine in the driveway blocking me in.
I ran back inside the house, grabbed his keys, ran outside, moved his car, ran back inside, deposited his keys where they belong, ran back outside, grabbed the handle of my car door and realized in my flurry I had somehow managed to lock my keys inside. So, I ran back inside, grabbed, husband’s keys that has the extra key for my car, unlocked my door, ran back inside, deposited husband’s keys back where they belong, and was FINALLY on my way — 15 minutes later than I had anticipated.
I had a choice to make.
I could let those 15 minutes on the clock dictate my day by allowing them to tell me my morning was ruined because it hadn’t started out as I planned, or I could accept them as is and move along.
As I drove down the street headed toward my destination and trying to decide how to let those 15 minutes work themselves into my plan for my morning, I found myself stopped behind nearly every red light.
And then traffic started backing up.
I was gridlocked on a road that almost never has heavy traffic — what was happening to my day! I was running out of precious alone time that I had paid the babysitter to give me!
And then I saw the flashing lights.
As I crept along with the slow flow of traffic, I finally saw it. A car the same make, model, and color as mine had a front-end that was absolutely crushed. Destroyed. From my driving-by view there was no sign of the driver anywhere, so I desperately pray that they made it out safe and sound…
Really quickly I realized that maybe those frustrating minutes this morning positioned me in to be in the driving-by, witnessing traffic instead of potentially being a part of the accident.
It’s easy for me to say that I believe God has orchestrated my life, cares about me, and knows the number of hairs on my head, (Matt 10:30, Luke 12:7) but I realized in that moment that I don’t believe it fully.
My stressed-out, flustery planning of my day says it all. My inclination to be furious about 15 minutes lost, ones that simply didn’t work out quite the way I wanted painfully reminds me of my self-focused nature.
So, today I am choosing not to let those 15 minutes ruin my day. I am choosing to believe that those 15 minutes were given to me to position me exactly where God wanted me to be to hear Him. To see His provision for my own life, and to pray for the life of someone else.
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.