Insecure.

Insecure?

No more!

Well, at least not as much.

I’m pretty sure I don’t live in a vacuum where I’m the only female on the planet who has ever felt insecure, or even admitted to it. And I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only person the world who has compared myself to the image in a magazine or on a billboard or to the friend sitting on my couch chatting with me over coffee.

Right? Well, you don’t have to admit it out loud like I am. I’ve heard enough women talk about their insecurities to know I’m not alone in this. I’ve heard enough about it to know that this will be a struggle most of us deal with for a lot of our life, and we’ll have good days and bad days.

I have good days and bad days.

But, I have to say, that lately, my insecurity-laden days have been quite absent and I know why. So, I’m going to tell you.

My body is doing something it has never ever done before. It is growing and nourishing and nurturing another tiny person. A person that will bring joy to lots of people’s lives. A person that will most likely change the world, even if it’s just my world.

My body is doing something incredible, and I can’t be mad at it. I can’t be upset about my white legs and freckles and feet that I wish were a few sizes smaller. I just can’t. As soon as I try, I see the way my belly is growing to accommodate this tiny new person that is going to change my world and I can’t be mad. I just can’t be mad about my frizzy hair and dry skin.

I know a lot of women have struggled with the way their body changes during pregnancy. I’ll admit, the weight gain can be a bit frightening, watching the scale creep up little by little. But I’m very grateful that right now I can say I feel more confident than I ever have before even as I watch that number get bigger and bigger.

I have this verse hanging on the full-length mirror in my bedroom:

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:13-14.

You’re probably thinking, “Oh that’s sweet, she posted that on her mirror to reflect on the tiny baby that is growing in her body right now.”

The reality is, I’ve had that verse on my mirror for almost two years now. I would pray those words over myself as I struggled some days at what I saw staring back at me. Convincing myself that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and that God knit me together in my mommy’s belly, and that had to be a pretty wonderful thing.

And you know what? It is a wonderful thing.

So, now what you were thinking is right. I do reflect on those verses and imagine the tiny baby inside my own belly that is being knit together. A fearfully and wonderfully made tiny baby.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, too.

Love,
Janine