Adventures can be lonely.

After the thrill of a new adventure has settled in a bit and life begins to continue as normal, there can be bits of lonely mixed in that are surprising. They’re surprising because lonely bits aren’t supposed to be a part of a grand adventure, right?

Seven months ago, Andy and I set out on the biggest, grandest adventure of our young lives.

Two twenty-five year old newly(ish) weds and a puppy packed up everything they owned and left everything they knew and everyone they loved scattered across the eastern side of the country to head as far west as they could go before falling into the ocean.

We moved to California 7 months ago. It’s our grand adventure. But, now that the thrill has worn off and the boxes are unpacked. Now that we have found our way around and are settling into our routine, these surprising little lonely bits are starting to show up.

Everything has its place in our apartment. We have our routine. We have each other. We have direction and we are happy. But, the one thing we do not have are our people.

Don’t get me wrong. There are people in California. Lots of really nice, wonderful people and I love a lot of them. But, people are irreplaceable and we left a lot of irreplaceable people on the other side of the country and it’s hard.

Even though we have friends here and a routine and we have direction and we know we are where we are supposed to be, these little lonely bits keep peeping up here and there. Little reminders about the people and relationships we are missing out on by being so far away from our family and old friends. The comfortable friends that already know you and you don’t have to explain yourself to. Your family that loves you unconditionally and has been the support that has given you the confidence to spread your wings to go on the grand adventure.

The lonely bits make the adventure hard. It’s still fun. It’s just hard.

Or maybe just harder than I thought it would be.

Fortunately, there are many days ahead of us and people to meet and relationships to nurture here in California. I just need to start realizing that just because I’m far away from so many people I love, it doesn’t mean that I don’t carry a piece of them with me everywhere I go.

I love each one of you.


3 Responses to "adventures."

  1. Janine, I haven’t moved completely across the country, but I definitely know how hard it is when you don’t have “your people” close by. I really do think it takes about 2 years to feel completely settled (I’m sure that seems like a long time, but it won’t be too long!). We miss you and can’t wait to hear more about Baby Crum!

  2. Grandma Jane says:

    Hi Janine (and Andy of course),
    Your message brought tears to my eyes. We lived away from family and old friends for four years early in our marriage and I know it is hard. Fortunately we were only 3 1/2 hours away so could go for week-ends and we did as often as we could. It takes time to make new friends that you feel comfortable with but it will happen – you just have to keep trying and I pray that before long you will feel at home and comfortable in your new environs. The ones you left behind find it hard that you are away and I know are longing to see you. Just continue to think of your move as a big adventure and good experience and realize that “this too shall pass”. Nothing lasts forever.
    We all love you…..Grandma Jane

  3. Hang in there! It will take time to grow those new relationships but it will be so worth it in the end!

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