surprise!

So, who doesn’t love a surprise?

Okay, so some people don’t love surprises. And there are people out there who you just can’t surprise. But, I happen to love surprises and I happened to get the surprise of my life this February and have been absolutely in love with this little surprise ever since.

For those of you who don’t know… Andy and I are expecting our first little Crum!

Boy, was the news a surprise to us.

Especially because we had just had a conversation about how we’d like to wait a few more years before having kids so we can sort of figure out where our roots will be, but God had another idea.

He surprised us. He surprised us with a sweet little blessing of a surprise, and I’ll have to admit that my first reaction was that I was absolutely terrified and not as much just simply surprised. Especially since Andy and I had just talked about how we wanted to wait to have kids until we were ready. But then I remembered: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11).

These words have spoken much comfort into my life when I’ve been uncertain about what lies ahead or terrified at the prospect of what I see coming up around the bend.

At this point, I’m no longer terrified and I’m excited about the surprise. I’m four and a half months pregnant now and the major fears I had at first of not being ready yet and knowing about the possibilities of miscarriage have softly subsided. (They’re still there a little and I know they’ll be there until the day our baby is born.) But, now I can feel tiny little flutters inside of me and I know the baby is there.

I can also see my belly getting bigger. It seems like every morning I wake up and my belly has grown and my waistline has disappeared a tiny bit more. And as unsettling as this whole body transformation began, it’s been a bit of a comfort knowing that ‘The Plan’ God has for my life of being a mother is being carried out and I can see visible signs of it.

So, surprise! We’re having a baby!

And we find out in two weeks if it’s a boy or a girl. (Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to let you in on that little surprise.)

Love,

Janine

adventures.

Adventures.

Adventures can be lonely.

After the thrill of a new adventure has settled in a bit and life begins to continue as normal, there can be bits of lonely mixed in that are surprising. They’re surprising because lonely bits aren’t supposed to be a part of a grand adventure, right?

Seven months ago, Andy and I set out on the biggest, grandest adventure of our young lives.

Two twenty-five year old newly(ish) weds and a puppy packed up everything they owned and left everything they knew and everyone they loved scattered across the eastern side of the country to head as far west as they could go before falling into the ocean.

We moved to California 7 months ago. It’s our grand adventure. But, now that the thrill has worn off and the boxes are unpacked. Now that we have found our way around and are settling into our routine, these surprising little lonely bits are starting to show up.

Everything has its place in our apartment. We have our routine. We have each other. We have direction and we are happy. But, the one thing we do not have are our people.

Don’t get me wrong. There are people in California. Lots of really nice, wonderful people and I love a lot of them. But, people are irreplaceable and we left a lot of irreplaceable people on the other side of the country and it’s hard.

Even though we have friends here and a routine and we have direction and we know we are where we are supposed to be, these little lonely bits keep peeping up here and there. Little reminders about the people and relationships we are missing out on by being so far away from our family and old friends. The comfortable friends that already know you and you don’t have to explain yourself to. Your family that loves you unconditionally and has been the support that has given you the confidence to spread your wings to go on the grand adventure.

The lonely bits make the adventure hard. It’s still fun. It’s just hard.

Or maybe just harder than I thought it would be.

Fortunately, there are many days ahead of us and people to meet and relationships to nurture here in California. I just need to start realizing that just because I’m far away from so many people I love, it doesn’t mean that I don’t carry a piece of them with me everywhere I go.

I love each one of you.

Love,
Janine