There is something heavy on my heart that I would like to share. It has been a huge encouragement to me and has been a source of life for my marriage.
We all have heard the phrase a thousand times that “actions speak louder than words.” And I’m learning (sometimes the hard way) that they really, really do. You see, someone told Andy and I shortly after our engagement that we shouldn’t waste our time together arguing. Not that we really argue all that often, but most of our usual arguments these days revolve around whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher or who should take the dog out. Let’s face it — neither one of those things are so important that they should take time away from the valuable time that Andy and I can spend together. So, why argue about them?
I keep coming back to these verses as a reminder:
1 Peter 3:1-2
1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
I keep reading these verses over and over because how I conduct myself within my marriage is frequently on my mind. Now technically, the first verse of this passage is referring to wives of non-believing husbands and how these wives shouldn’t focus on trying to win their husbands over by convincing them they should believe, but rather they should live their lives in such a way that their husband can’t help but notice the purity and reverence in the life of their wife and therefore begin to desire a life of purity and reverence as well. However, as I read this more and more I keep realizing that wives of believing husbands can reap much from these verses as well.
How I act toward Andy is more important than what I say to him. Telling him that he needs to take the dog out and it’s his turn to put the dishes away typically gets me nowhere. Rather, when I just take the dog out without complaining and clean up around the house he usually follows up by taking out the trash and taking care of other things to help keep everything in order and our lives running smoothly. This works both ways because to be honest, Andy is usually the one taking care of dishes while I complain about being too tired to do anything after I get home from work. He is a GREAT husband!
Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t talk to your husband about things that are on your mind or that you shouldn’t share your feelings or anything like that, and I don’t think these verses are saying that at all. What I’m trying to say is that at the end of the day we shouldn’t be so concerned with whose turn it is or have a bad attitude about something because they’re having a bad attitude about it and it annoys us. But rather, we should seek to live lives that show Christ’s love to our spouse. And that means loving them more than they “deserve” to be loved, because none of us did anything to deserve Christ’s love, but he died for us anyway.
So, I encourage you to love your husband (or wife…. and I’ll keep going on to add brother, sister, mother, father, friend, etc.) more than they deserve. Don’t seek to get even. Seek to show them Christ’s love through your actions so they will see that your beauty comes from the inside.
Do something today that you wouldn’t normally volunteer to do.